Kindness is the act of being useful to another. It means doing what is best for another. There is in being kind the intent of giving what another needs rather than what he or she wants. Kindness does what is best despite what another deserves. Therefore, the attribute must be of highest priority in the marriage relationship.
1 Now, about the things of which you wrote, it is good for a man not to attach himself to a woman 2 but because of sexual immorality, each man must have his wife and each woman must have her own husband. 3 The husband must render duty to the wife and the wife must render likewise to the husband.
- I Corinthians 7:1-3
The physical side of marriage is to take place between one man and one woman who are married to each other (v2). There is no room for anymore. A husband is to have and hold his own wife and a wife is to have and hold her own husband. This having comes from duty.
Husbands are obligated to give himself to his wife. The idea is that of a debt that is owed. This is the duty the man is called to render (v3). The wife is equally obligated to her husband. I believe the obligation or duty here is to assist your spouse in fleeing sexual immorality.
- Pastor Randy
1 Now, about the things of which you wrote, it is good for a man not to attach himself to a woman 2 but because of sexual immorality, each man must have his wife and each woman must have her own husband.
- I Corinthians 7:1, 2
If abstaining from marriage leads one to commit sexual sin, marriage is the better choice (v2). The issue is obedience to Christ. So then, marriage is a safeguard against sexual immorality. This fact is the safety of marriage. Sex is of God. Sex between a man and a woman is commanded of God to be fulfilled within the marriage relationship.
- Pastor Randy
 There is no God-ordained sexual relations between man and man, woman and woman, or man and animal.
And you be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving one another just as God forgave you by Christ.
- Ephesians 4:32
Kindness is the act of being useful to another. It means doing what is best for another. There is in being kind the intent of giving what another needs rather than what he or she wants. Kindness does what is best despite what another deserves. Therefore, the attribute must be at the fore front of the marriage relationship.
When one is tender-hearted, one sympathizes with another. Tender-heartedness is the characteristic of being full of pity for another’s feelings. One can be sympathetic without having gone through the same experience as another. It is caring for the sake of caring.
People are unique. We do not always react similarly to similar situations. Husbands and wives must be mindful of the feelings and emotions of their spouse. This mindfulness must be a part of the marriage relationship whether or not experiential understanding exists.
Forgiveness Forgiveness is the legal releasing of charges against another. This release is based upon a fulfillment of justice. In other words, forgiveness does not simply release a guilty person apart from a payment for his or her guilt.
God forgives offense based upon the work of Christ. The sacrifice of Jesus fulfills or pays the price required by God’s justice. As a result, God offers a release from sin because Jesus paid the price for our freedom. Furthermore, because Christ paid for all sin, forgiveness is now freely available between human beings.
This is why Paul tells the believers at Ephesus to forgive one another. Since God’s justice is satisfied through Christ, we are able to forgive one who sins against us.
Christ’s sacrifice was so complete that God is able to forgive all sin for all time. Therefore, the severity or quantity of sinful acts bears no affect upon God’s forgiveness. As a consequence, God’s forgiveness is free and inexhaustible.  Forgiveness between human beings is the same. Since the union of man and woman is an illustration of Christ and His redeemed people, forgiveness in marriage must exist.
- Pastor Randy
The access to God’s free and inexhaustible forgiveness is only available while living in this present life.
 Forgiveness is always an option no matter the severity or quantity of offense. Forgiveness always seeks for restoration of relationship and as such is acceptable to be accompanied by requests of trust and accountability from the one offended.
22 Wives, obey your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church and He is Savior of the body. 24 But as the Church is subordinate to Christ, wives obey husbands in all things. 25 Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her sake, 26 in order that He may sanctify her; having cleansed her with washing (baptism, bath) of water by the word, 27 in order that He may present to Himself a gorgeous (glorious) Church, having no disgrace nor wrinkle nor anything of this sort but that she may be holy and blameless.
- Ephesians 5:22-27
Both the man and the woman have roles within the marriage relationship. To the extent that husbands and wives fulfill their respective roles, the marriage goes according to God’s will and is the better for doing so.
I am convinced that the spirit behind the roles of husband and wife is to be imitators of
God (Galatians 5:1), to walk carefully in wisdom (Galatians 5:15), and to understand what the Lord’s
will is (Galatians 5:17). A characteristic of these three elements is that saved people must submit to one another (Galatians 5:21).
The reason behind Christian submission is our reverence (fear) for Christ (Galatians 5:21). Therefore Christians submit to each other because we fear Christ. Our fear is of the nature of respect and reverence rather than terror.
- Pastor Randy
4 But, answering, He said, “Have you not read that He, creating from the beginning, made them male and female?” 5 And He said, “For this reason a man shall forsake father and mother and shall be joined (stuck) to his wife. And these two shall be one flesh. 6 Therefore, they are no longer two but are one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked (joined) together, man must not part (separate, put room between).”
- Matthew 19:4-6
In order to get to the truth about marriage, we must understand God’s definition of the subject. In our current text, we have that definition. According to the Lord, marriage is the union of two people into one.
The context Jesus’ statement in our text is His response to a question from Pharisees. Matthew tells us that the motivation for the question was to test Jesus. Their question deals with the matter of marriage, specifically, the death of marriage. The Pharisees ask Jesus whether it is lawful to divorce for any reason (Matthew 19:3).
Now during Jesus’ day, there were two lines of thinking about divorce. One named Hillel taught that a man could divorce his wife any reason, even for the most trivial reason. Another named Shammai taught that the only lawful reason to divorce one’s wife was for adultery (Barnes). It seemed as though the Pharisees’ motive for asking their question was to pit Jesus against one group or the other. Jesus did not take the bait of the Pharisees. Rather He directed them to another teaching…Biblical teaching.
Jesus goes back to the beginning of creation, to the time when God created man. Genesis tells us about the creation of man. The text states that God made human beings (Gr. An-throw-pos), in His representation, resemblance, or image. And of His representation, God creates variety: male and female (Genesis 1:27).
God creates the male human differently from the female human. God creates the male from the dust of the ground (Genesis 2:7) while the female He creates by taking a rib from the man’s body Genesis 2:21, 22). I do not mention this difference in creation to imply any inequity of the humanness between the male and the female. I do intend to say that the difference in the creation of the man and the woman illustrates what God intends for marriage.
I submit that Adam and Eve, from their very origins, were made as one flesh. Adam states it accurately when he says of Eve, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” (Genesis 2:23). Eve is literally from Adam’s body. Adam and Eve are one flesh. As being one flesh, the two cannot be separated. This is God’s idea for marriage.
I acknowledge that Adam and Eve’s creation is unique among all married couples. This is because no other woman but Eve has been formed from the rib of her husband. But yet the principle remains the same for all couples. God desires for married couples to become as one just as Adam and Eve were literally one. I believe this is Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees’ question.
- Pastor Randy
Randy Weddle pastors the Community Church of Mooresville in Mooresville, Indiana